Authentic Self

Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) and How to Manage It

Neurodiversity
October 15, 2024•4 min read

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a term that’s gaining recognition, particularly in neurodivergent communities, as it captures a specific emotional experience that can feel intense and overwhelming. Those who live with RSD often experience heightened emotional sensitivity to perceived rejection, criticism, or even disapproval, which can lead to an immediate and severe emotional response. RSD can impact students and adults - so we see in our classrooms and in our staffrooms.

But what exactly is RSD, and how can we learn to manage it?

RSD

What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)?

RSD is not an officially recognised diagnosis in major diagnostic manuals like the DSM-5, but it's commonly associated with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. Dysphoria itself means "a state of unease or dissatisfaction," and in this context, it's the emotional pain triggered by perceived rejection or criticism, even if that rejection isn’t actually happening.

For those with RSD, seemingly minor events—a frown, a delayed text response, or constructive feedback—can feel like a deep personal rejection. The intensity of this emotional response can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of shame, inadequacy, or even anger. These emotional reactions can come on quickly and be hard to shake, causing ripple effects in relationships, work, and overall mental well-being.

Common Symptoms of RSD

  • Emotional Intensity
    Sudden and intense feelings of sadness, anger, or humiliation after real or perceived rejection.

  • Hyperawareness
    Constantly scanning for cues of rejection or disapproval in social situations.

  • Fear of Failure
    Avoiding situations where there’s a chance of criticism or rejection, which can lead to missed opportunities.

  • Self-Criticism
    Harsh internal dialogue when a rejection, however minor, is perceived.

  • Withdrawn Behaviour
    In some cases, people may isolate themselves to protect against future rejection.

Coping Strategies with RSD

While RSD can feel all-encompassing, it is possible to manage these intense emotions with the right strategies. Here are some approaches to help navigate life with RSD:

1. Recognise and Name the Feeling

The first step in managing RSD is recognising when it’s happening. Emotional intensity can cloud judgment, but if you’re able to name the experience as RSD rather than genuine rejection, it can help create distance between you and the emotion. Mindfulness techniques, such as pausing to check in with your feelings or practicing deep breathing, can help in these moments.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Cognitive distortions play a significant role in RSD. A neutral attack feels like a personal attack, but taking a step back to question these thoughts can shift your perspective. Ask yourself:

  • Is there evidence that this person is rejecting or criticising me?

  • Could this be a misunderstanding?

  • How would I interpret this situation if I didn’t have RSD?

Reframing the situation can often diminish its emotional charge.

3. Develop Emotional Resilience

Building emotional resilience takes time, but small steps toward emotional regulation can have a big impact. Practices such as:

  • Self-compassion
    Instead of beating yourself up when you feel rejected, speak kindly to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel hurt and give yourself permission to experience those feelings without judgment. Allow yourself to cry.

  • Grounding exercises
    Focus on the physical sensations around you (e.g., touching a textured object, noticing the temperature) to stay in the present moment and avoid spiralling into negative thinking.

  • Self-soothing
    Engage in activities that calm your nervous system—whether it’s listening to music, drawing, going for a walk, or spending time in nature.

4. Open Communication

Many people with RSD tend to withdraw or lash out when they feel rejected. Learning to express your needs clearly can prevent misunderstandings. Outline how you prefer to be given feedback (like in a BioDex) or explain that you’re sensitive to rejection and may need reassurance in certain moments. This opens space for dialogue and reduces misinterpretations.

5. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries around your emotional energy can also help prevent RSD from escalating. For example, if constructive feedback is overwhelming, ask for time to process it or request written feedback rather than verbal, giving you more space to interpret the message with less emotional intensity. Using AI like Goblin Tools can help you to identify the tone of the written feedback which can be misinterpreted with RSD.

 6.    Professional Support

If RSD is significantly impacting your day-to-day life, seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor who understands neurodivergence can make a difference. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), or working with a coach trained in emotional regulation strategies can equip you with the tools to manage your sensitivity.

 Living with RSD can feel exhausting, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Many people, especially within neurodivergent communities, experience the same emotional intensity and struggles with rejection. By recognising the patterns and learning strategies to manage the emotional responses, you can regain control and thrive, even in the face of perceived rejection. It takes time, but small, consistent steps toward self-awareness and emotional regulation can create lasting change.

 

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